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Chihuahuas Announce Hendrix Will Retire Saturday, May 12th , 2046 "I can't play this game the way I could before," came the assessment from Brandon Hendrix today. A bleary-eyed Hendrix told reporters that he was wrapping up his career at long last. "I can tell when it's going to rain, my big toe always hurts the day before. And I spend hours after each game icing down my knees," he said. "My joints ache and I'm about sick to death of stinking like ointment at all hours trying to bounce back for the next game. Road trips seem twice as long nowadays. I want to spend each night in my own bed." Reporters were surprised when they heard a litany of complaints from Hendrix, who usually has an upbeat and pleasant personality in the clubhouse. As the El Paso manager said, "This boys game will make a man real old real quick. The daily grind, the marathon each season, it wears on your soul. Looks like Father Time caught up with Brandon. I have nothing but respect for the guy." A check of Hendrix's career stats shows he has 6 saves with a 14-7 record and a 6.58 ERA. |
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